I guess this will be the shortest blog post I’ve ever written. Because I am not used to this: I simply don’t know what to say. Nevertheless there IS something to say, but I don’t know how to find the right words for it. But let me try.

Last weekend I visited Berlin. I met wonderful people there, for example Mandy, also a blogger, (visit her at “Go Girl Run”), who organized our trip to Berlin. On Friday evening I presented my book “Turtlerunners’ Trainingsbuch” to a group of nice people. We met at “Rosi ich bin im Park“, a wonderful little location which invites you to drink peppermint tea, lemonade or coffee, have delicious little meals like chili with chocolate, and awesome vegan chocolate cake. It almost felt a bit like home there, it was so comfortable! We had engaging conversations, and after a long inspiring evening, I went to bed at the Cat’s Pyjamas Hostel, which was also very pleasant.

Berlin, where I (almost) lost my words.

On Saturday we started the day with a short sightseeing tour through Berlin, and that is where I began to lose my words. I didn’t realize until that day that Berlin is a city whose history is everywhere. You can’t walk a hundred steps without being in touch with history. And it is not a kind of ‘nice’ history. I visited the Holocaust-Monument and I stood there, where Hitler lived, in his last weeks in Berlin. I didn’t know that the “Führerbunker” still exists, but it does. And I stood there. Beneath my feet I could almost feel it. Or at least, I thought I could. It was a scary feeling and I didn’t like it. It made me feel weak, and suddenly I realized that all of this wasn’t just a story. It was history. Real history. And this knowledge almost made me sick. Of course I had learned about the World War in school, and saw movies. Let’s say “Indiana Jones“, where Berlin also was an important place. And I knew that all this was real. I knew it. But I guess to know and to feel are two very different kind of things. So I stood there, only a few metres above Hitler’s hideout-place, and I felt it. It was both disgusting and frightening. It oppressed me for many hours and I wondered how anybody could live in Berlin and not feel this oppressive feeling all the time. But maybe it was just a kind of a culture shock. Don’t forget I live in a small village with about 550 people. Compared to my home, Berlin is a world of its own.

After I went to brunch at Kopp’s, the “world” looked a little brighter. Yet I won’t ever forget that feeling I had when I stood there. And maybe it is important not to forget.

The Holocaust Monument

6 Kommentare

  1. Leider gibt es dafür in der Tat nicht viele Worte, die auch mir dazu in den Sinn kommen. Selbst als Berlinerin, die immer wieder damit konfrontiert wird, macht es mich immer wieder sprachlos. Ich denke aber auch, dass es gut so ist.

    PS. Zu schade, dass ich es aufgrund diverser beruflicher Projekte nicht zur Buchvorstellung geschafft habe.

    • Hallo Din! Danke für deinen Kommentar – ja, ich denke auch, dass es gut so ist. Und interessant, von einer Berlinerin zu hören, dass es doch auch im Alltag immer wieder gegenwärtig ist. Beim nächsten Mal Berlin klappt es vielleicht mit einem persönlichen Kennenlernen! Liebe Grüße!

  2. Thank you so much for this post.
    Because these words are so very much coming out of your heart and you don’t try to push away your sad feelings. And the observations you made I find very true. I believe that Berlin IS a difficult city. Nevertheless many other places in Germany are historically difficult places too, but it’s not so obvious.
    I believe also that only if one tries to deny ones true feelings sickness starts.
    That’s what many people do when they don’t want to confront themself with the dark sides of the human experience and with their feelings connected to it. Sadness is for many people something they don’t want to open a door. But if sadness is suppressed we start to deny facts and that’s in no way good.

    But you shared your feelings here with us and that sounds so wonderful.

    I am also living in Berlin and sometimes I feel that this indeed is a city loade with (sad) history. Sometimes Berlin seems to be a very dark place. But if you keep connected to your feelings you can say: yes this is sad. In this moment this makes me sad and I am sad. But there are also moments where to feel happy is also possible. For example Berlin in the summer is great, green and sunny. All the people from different backgrounds and countries who meet in this city transform the city into a very lively place. There are many things to discover, a lot of interesting places, initiatives, cafes, bars and beautiful parks. Then good feelings are coming up lightly.

    Feelings are part of life – the good and the bad ones.

    Much love!

    • Thank you so much for your answer to this blog post. It seems you really understood what happened inside of me. I also think that being sad is not bad at all. It belongs to life and it would have been weird if I hadn’t felt anything at all in this situation. So, thanks again.

  3. Ps
    I wanted to come to meet you – but unfortunately I had no time. Hopefully next time!

  4. Pinkback: Lesung + Buchtipp: Turtle Runners Trainingsbuch - Go Girl! Run!

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